成长

小时候看着别人家的小孩比自己高大，比自己强壮，心里总是暗暗羡慕，总觉得长大了很好。
一直幻想长大了要做些什么。
可以驾车，可以自己做饭烧菜，不用依靠父母。
但现在我才知道，原来依靠父母，不长大，是多么的甜蜜。

从来不曾想过，成长需要付出多少代价。

一直一直到，真正经历一次永远的离别，才发现，我在长大，爸爸妈妈都在变老。
——外婆过世了。

丧礼的时候，我每天都在哭。
到了亲眼看着外婆，睡在那座坟山。
被土掩埋。

直到一次真正地去计算爸爸的年龄。
我心里的爸爸永远都40多岁，但不得不承认，爸爸真的50岁了。
一天比一天憔悴。
我也发觉他老顽童的性格开始出现，有种做好准备陪孙子玩的感觉。

妈妈也开始变得越来越慈祥，越来越像离开我的外婆。
从以前严厉的家教（我是说我中学那段时期的时候她管我特别严），到现在开始明显的宠儿子。
现在还在中学的弟弟也快被宠坏了。
当然，家里管教后辈的责任我也开始扛起了一部分。
也当然，快20岁的我一定不会觉得妈妈偏心。

才惊觉，我长大了。
真的不会再去计较妈妈比较疼谁，而开始知道我都必须比弟弟们更疼妈妈。
因为我跟他相处的时间最久。
18年了，家里吵得最严重的架是我和妈妈之间的，那段中学的叛逆期分分钟已经减少了妈妈很多生命。

现在虽然偶尔有点意见不合，而且怪我生来嘴贱嘴快，偶尔还会说错话顶撞到父母。
然后自己想起时就觉得惭愧。

还有爸爸，从小就跟他比较少沟通。
他一直奔波在外，星期五到星期日才会呆在SP。
就算在SP，也忙着卸货。
以前总埋怨爸爸硬拉我去帮忙他做工。
看别人家的孩子就呆在家里无所事事，我却要在烈日下苦作。
没有想过，我不去帮忙，受苦的是爸爸自己一个人。

外婆说爸爸以前很白。
现在皮肤黝黑得像个农夫。

让我最难过的，是看到他的眼睛，有一条条的红色血丝。
眼白都变得浑浊，看不到白色。

我很老实地说，我含着泪水写这篇文章。

成长需要付出的代价，就是长辈们的老去。
长江后浪推前浪，万物都这么长存下去。
唯独我们人类的成长，当中包含多少泪水，多少不舍，多少缅怀。

Dragon City

I don't like commenting or recommending games on my blog but I'd like to break my rule by yelling that, fantastic! Dragon City on Facebook is a very nice game!

I almost get obsessed to this kiddy game which at first I thought it requires me no skill to master this game.
Until I really indulge in it and find out a lot of knowledge embedded within it.
The most challenging part is to breed or to produce a better quality dragon.
Likewise, I have to know which dragon mates with which dragon and produce a worse hybrid and do some prevention before resulting in yielding an useless dragon.

The dragons have 3 growth states - baby, teen, adult.
Below level 3 it is a baby, which shows allometric growth - comparatively bigger head and smaller body which is extremely cute and adorable until I wish I could really enter the virtual cyber world to pinch his cheek!
Level 4 to 6 it is a teen, actually I classify it personally without knowing whether the programmer programmed like what I said. Why I said the dragon in this level group is a teen? As only level 4 and above, they are allowed to breed! This is analogically similar to us, as in this stage, we reach our puberty state and have the ability, to REPRODUCE.
Level 7 onward, of course an adult dragon. Other than seeing the physical changes of the dragon evidently, the dragon produces more coins within a minute too.

Oh yeah, before this, the dragon has to be hatched from an egg, and the incubation time is dependent on the dragon type.
The virtual attached below shows everything.

The most peculiar part of this game is, the dragons have no gender.
As me the father a.k.a. a bio-technologist of Dragon City, breed whatever dragon I like by mating whatever 2 dragons I want regardless of their sex as it is not mentioned in this game.
I wonder who fxxx who huh?

Alright I love this game much and my passion is contagious until I infected a lot of friends of mine to play with me. They are now game addicts, and me either.

Now I personally own 24 dragon pets in my city.

http://apps.facebook.com/dragoncity/?fb_source=bookmark_apps&ref=bookmarks&count=0&fb_bmpos=4_0

The DREAM

This is my first post in English.
(Start pondering whether is this the first one? Ignore it, ignorance is bliss, and, yeah, ignorance is bliss.)

My beloved senior from a Chinese-educated family yet scored Band 5 in MUET had taught me genuinely about his secret recipe to drill this fucking language (which allows us to add a 'fucking' in anywhere) efficiently, which is by composing posts in the blog in English.

Alright, I had actually got nothing to say.

Until I reminisced that, a stupid dream that stroke on me and brought me back to my past.
I always think that having a dream, (I mean the situation we meet after we fall asleep, not the ambitious one) that brings me back to medieval times and witness assassination is super cool, just like watching TV.
And I have been enlightened that one of the America ex-president was assassinated in a pom (NOT PORN, see clearly) or in a meeting or whatever, and I used to imagine something like that, it makes me stressful, but challenging.

But, the one that stroke me, was a girl.
A girl who used to, changed me and loved me.
She hugged me tightly, smiled like an angel.
Owh, I seriously did not hope that it was just a dream.
But I did not know who the hell gimme a kick that brought me back to reality (like what that was aforementioned in Inception)
It was five.
And I nearly thought it was real, until I realised that I was in my room, without her, with me.

I do not want to write much about that to prevent misunderstanding.
But, this stupid dream makes my heart grow fonder, although I have been trying hard to throw everything off my head.

我有点不够男子汉

夜阑人不静，我平时一声不吭的室友，选择了在今晚将他一生说话的次数一次用完。
一个小时前，我的房间来了个不速之客，是一个我第一眼看上去就没有好感的家伙。
他没有不良嗜好，可是就是惹我讨厌，除了样貌上他令我深深反感，还有的就是他的光临以为着我今晚不可能睡得好。
真是个扫把星。

我把他称为我室友的男朋友。
他们基到可以上一张床，轻声细语聊天；把2张椅子拉得近近，几乎要抱着一起读书，我想要不是屁股太大他们可能共坐在一张椅子上了。

他们的语言我完全听不懂，从口腔我大约揣测那是吉兰丹的马来话吧。
叽里咕噜，咕到我想睡都睡不着。
加上他们关着灯不能聊天（我猜大概是需要进行光合作用吧），我又那么刚好只要开着灯就不能睡，所以我今晚简直就是憎恨他们至极。

在床上翻覆，也不太想回复短信，把手机搁在一边。
我一个人静静地，就上网写部落了。

我这个人啊，什么都不缺，缺了个胆，和一张脸皮。
除了怕血怕痛怕高怕鬼，我还怕认识新朋友。
（这是因为没胆）
尤其是美女型的。
（这是因为没脸皮）

怕血 · 我在努力克服中，毕竟当医生是我其中一个志愿。
怕痛 · 除了怕自己痛，也怕看到别人痛。朋友说这是因为我太慈悲？
怕高 · 抹风扇的时候我很怕跌倒，上20楼看下来却小事一桩，我想我怕的是没有安全感吧。
怕鬼 · 那是小时候的事，现在我比鬼还可怕。



印象中我真正先开口说嗨，我是XX的次数，应该只有2次。
一次是阿玲催我催到要死，我才肯去认识的心伊。
一次是明穗催我催到要死，我才肯去认识的钡文。

心伊还好，认识了还聊到像兄弟一样，可是一段时间没有联络从此她又消失在我的圈子。
钡文就够力了，自我介绍后就完全没有再哈咯。

说道这里要纠正一下，应该说我不敢去认识那些和我一点瓜葛都没有的女生。
就我们的世界是完全没有intersect的。
有intersect的呢，感觉上我完全没有想过脸皮或者胆子问题，好像去认识他们是理所当然一样。
比如打辩论就认识了阿玲、明亦、佳莹、定佳、明穗还有一大堆我现在lag着的脑袋想不到的名字。

然后的然后呢，就有人介绍我另一个心伊钡文那组的朋友给我了。
除了她叫我去认识，我也自己很想认识。
同上，我胆旁边多了一个怯。
干。

可能是自己过不了自己那关吧。
就我会帮别人先设想法，我觉得她会觉得我跟她嗨是一种求偶的方式。
然后她就会operates behavioral isolation through different courtship behavioral patterns，拒绝了我。
干，我们不是动物，想远了。
总之我会有一种，我去嗨她她就觉得我不怀好意的想法。
这种心理障碍很难跨越啊。